Look at these girls, aren't they neat?

Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? (Now repeat that title and first sentence to the tune of the little mermaid song) We are having ANOTHER GIRL!!!! Jordan and I were so sure that this baby would be a boy, we were literally shocked when the ultrasound tech couldn't find any boy parts in there! A GIRL?? If we are being honest, and I usually am pretty honest and blunt on here, we were a bit disappointed. People say that all they really want is a healthy baby. I want a healthy baby too, but I really wanted one with boy parts attached. And more honestly, I would have any baby, healthy or not so that is irrelevant. I am SO THANKFUL that SHE is healthy and growing and of course we love her, we just didn't expect HER. I also felt a sense of loss. We had two embryo's transferred, so one thought I had was maybe the embryo that didn't make it was my baby boy. Would he have been my football star? My sweet momma's boy who I would smother with so much love on his mission that his companions would wait for his mail rather than their own? What will I do with another girl? I already have a million tutu's and barbies and I don't think we own a blanket that isn't the same color as pepto bismo. So if we are being honest, even though we love this baby, we were underwhelmed at the thought of our girl.

That was two weeks ago. We started the momentous task of naming our third daughter. We have had THE PERFECT boy name since we got married. We agree on it and it's awesome. Girl names, however, take us forever to agree on. We fight, I pout, he veto's and its draining. But, I think we have one. And I love it. I also made a baby registry at target. I felt weird even agreeing to have a shower for this third daughter of mine, but my friend Stephanie said every baby should be celebrated and have a party. So I got online, and looked. And started to daydream a little. I saw this purple blanket, and thought, that one isn't too bad. I actually might love it. I do love it. I am going to buy it. It gave me a mom flub. ( Jordan and I have a made up word for extreme, verclempt-ish love: Flub) Now I had a baby with a name, and a blanket. She might have girl parts, but I was starting to get a glimmer of excitement for her. HER.

This week, I felt her move. No mistaking it. There SHE was. There SHE is. And it's weird. There is a human growing inside of me and all my premonitions of me thinking it's gross and creepy and surreal are true. However, I am addicted to it. I sit in anticipation of these little kicks all day and when she kicks me, I smile. That, in there, is my daughter. My THIRD baby with girl parts. I live in adoption land and I am about to have my third healthy baby girl. I need her. I suddenly can't wait to put bows in her hair and pain the toes of the feet that are kicking me. I bought a purple nursery set. Nothing gender neutral, I have become obsessed with this fancy, petite, wonderful girl. She was meant for our family. The way she got here and the tender mercies that brought her to me are all from Heavenly Father and he does not make mistakes. This baby, our baby girl was meant to be baby girl Fife number three. There is no more gender disappointment at our house. I don't feel guilty for my thought process or how I got to this point, because I think it's normal to hope for something, so please don't judge. I do feel grateful that I felt that way, because it makes me look at the two girls already here in my life and soak them in even more. The tea parties and dance classes and the "can't find anything to wear even though I am only five years old" moments.

They are precious daughter's of God and He trusted me to teach them something. Something that will get them, my three daughter's, back to Him. So here I go - about to have my third daughter. And I love it.

Baby Girl :)

18 weeks pregnant :)